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Post # Original
Post # 0000006a
FIGHTING BACK IN CANADA
From: A STRUGGLING SURVIVOR
Time: 6:26:35 PM
Remote Name: 126.96.36.199
I HAVE BEEN IN THE COURT SYSTEM NOW FOR FOUR YEARS AND HAVE HAD 7 LAWYERS. ALTHOUGH MY EX-HUSBAND LEFT ME WITH OUR TWO CHILDREN, HE BASICALLY GOT HIS LIFE TOGETHER WITHIN TWO YEARS AND THEN ANNOUNCED HE WAS TAKING THE CHILDREN...HE WAS SUCCESSFUL. YOU SEE HE PLANNED. HE WAS UPSET BECAUSE OF THE DEBT WE HAD ACCUMULATED, THE MAJOR REPAIR REQUIRED FOR OUR CAR, AND A HALF RENNOVATED, RODENT INFESTED HOME, HE TOOK ALL OUR SAVINGS, CASHED RRSP'S ETC., EVEN GOT OUT ANOTHER LOAN SO HE COULD HAVE A COOL CAR, HE TOLD THE CHILDREN THAT HE HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE MOMMY WAS MEAN TO HIM. THE TRUTH WAS HE HAD MET SOMEONE YOUNGER, AND EXCITING--THE OLD CLICHE.
SO WITHIN MY TWO YEARS I GAVE UP ON THE HOUSE AFTER BATTLING MICE, SQUIRRELS AND A PLUMBING BURST--THE KITCHEN FLOODED...I PERSONALLY MOVED MYSELF SINCE NO ONE SHOWED UP ON MOVING DAY TO A RENTAL IN THE NEXT CITY...(I'M PROUD OF THAT!} AND FILED BANKRUPCY. LUCKILY, AN ANGEL WAS ON MY SHOULDER BECAUSE I MANAGED TO GET HIM TO FINALLY SIGN A SUPPORT AGREEMENT SO I HAD A CASH FLOW...SLUGGISH BUT LEGAL. UNFORTUNATLY HE WAS FURIOUS AND STOPPED PAYING SUPPORT AND BEGAN COURT PROCEEDINGS. IT TOOK ME FIVE DESPRETE MONTHS TO FINALLY GET AN ORDER.
FIRST OF ALL I WAS STUPID AND DIDN'T LISTEN TO MY LAWYER;
SECOND I UNDERESTIMATED MY EX'S HATRED AND REVENGE;
THIRD I DIDN'T KEEP RECORDS, HAVE WITNESSES OR ANY TAPE RECORDINGS. MISTAKES I AM STILL PAYING FOR.
ANYWAY AFTER I WON SOME SUPPORT IN COURT THE WAR WAS DECLARED, HE CAME INTO MY NEIGHBOURHOOD AND HUNG OUT WITH MY NEIGHBOURS, HE FOLLOWED ME, HE CALLED ME AT WORK, HE TALKED TO MY EMPLOYER, HE TALKED TO MY FRIENDS, HE MANAGED TO SEVERE MOST OF MY RELATIONSHIPS FROM THE DAYS OF OUR MARRIAGE, HE BAD MOUTHED ME TO ANYONE WHO LISTENED, HOCKEY COACHES WHERE TOLD THAT I WAS KINKY AND INTO S&M, OTHER MOTHERS WERE ASKED IF THEY HAD SEEN ANY MARKS OR BRUISES ON MY CHILDREN BECAUSE HE SUSPECTED I ABUSED THEM. MEANWHILE MY CHILDREN WERE BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED...YES THIS IS THE WORSE FORM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
MY CHILDREN WERE TOLD THAT THE HOUSE WAS GOING TO BURN UP AND DID I HAVE INSURANCE, MY CHILDREN WERE WITNESSES TO HIM SCREAMING AT ME THAT I WAS AN UNFIT MOTHER, YOU GET THE PICTURE. FINALLY THEY WERE TOLD, IN FRONT OF ME, THAT THEY WERE NOT TO WORRY BECAUSE THEY WERE GOING TO MOVE BACK TO HIS HOME AND GO TO SCHOOL IN THAT CITY. AT THAT TIME I WAS STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.
THE CONSTANT WAR WAS DRAINING ME PHYSICALLY AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE IT. I LOST MY JOB DUE TO SINGLE-PARENT BABYSITTING STRUGGLES AND HIS PHONE CALLS, MY BOYFRIEND DECIDED HE WANTED TO DATE OTHER WOMEN SO THAT ENDED AND I WAS JUST EXHAUSTED. SO I DID SOME REALLY REALLY STUPID THINGS.
AFTER A TEMPER TANTRUM FROM MY FIVE YEAR OLD I TOLD THE CHILDREN THAT THEY COULD LIVE WITH THEIR DAD (IN MY OWN ANGER AND FRUSTRATION) THEN WE MADE UP BUT I REALIZED THAT I WAS LOSING IT, I ASKED FOR HELP FROM FAMILY BUT THEY WERE ALL NOT INTERESTED IN SOMETHING THEY PERCIEVED AS MY PROBLEM. SO THE NEXT DAY, WHEN THE CHILDREN WERE IN SCHOOL I CALLED HIM AND LEFT A MESSAGE THAT I WAS WILLING TO DISCUSS ABOUT HIM HAVING THE CHILDREN HALF OF THE TIME.
THEN WE TALKED AND I BLUBBERED AWAY AND TOLD HIM I WAS EXHAUSTED AND COULD HE TAKE OVER FOR TWO WEEKS SO I COULD GET MYSELF TOGETHER. HE THEN PICKED UP THE CHILDREN AND TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT...KEPT THEM. HE PHONED ME THOUGH AND TOLD ME IN GLEEFUL DESCRIPTION OF HOW HE WAS GOING TO HUMILIATE ME AND TELL EVERYONE THE TYPE OF PERSON I AM.
THIS WAS MY WORST NIGHTMARE AND I CRASHED, MY GIRLFRIEND CAME AND TOOK ME TO THE HOSPITAL AND I BLUBBERED AWAY ABOUT KILLING MYSELF FOR ABOUT TWO HOURS WHEN THEY FINALLY GOT SICK OF ME AND SENT ME HOME.
WITHIN A WEEK WE WERE IN MOTIONS COURT. MY FOURTH LAWYER HAD QUIT AND I GOT THIS REASURING WOMAN WHO ENDED UP THE DEMON OF NIGHT TERRORS! UNFORTUNATLY, I CAN'T EVEN BLAME THIS ON MY EX...THIS OBESE (I APPOLOGIZE IF I OFFEND ANYONE) WOMEN WAS, NO KIDDING, DEAF IN THE EAR CLOSEST TO ME (BOTH), HAD CHRONIC MS AND HAD JUST BEEN RELEASED (THE DAY BEFORE) FROM THE HOSPITAL, BUT DESPERATELY NEEDED MONEY FOR HER MEDS. SO, I WOULD BE WHISPERING INSTRUCTIONS AND SHE COULDN'T HEAR SO SHE WAS GOING ON HER OWN STEAM SAYING ALL THE WRONG THINGS. SHE TOLD ME THAT I LOOKED LIKE A SCREAMING MEEMEE...[and asked] DID I SCREAM AT MY KIDS?
HIS AFFIDAVIT WAS HORRIFYING, FULL OF SOAP OPERATIC LITURARY GREATNESS: I HAD HAD A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER, WHO HAD JUST RECENTLY DIED, THAT MY GIRLFRIEND HAD TOLD HIM ABOUT THE VISIT TO THE HOSPITAL, THAT I HAD A HISTORY OF BEING ABUSIVE TO HIM (I AM 5' HE IS 6') AND MORE.
I WAS NUMB AND UNABLE TO THINK STRAIGHT. SO THE JUDGE ORDERED THAT THE CHILDREN REMAIN WITH HIM AND THAT ALL MY VISITS WOULD BE SUPERVISED UNTIL I COULD GET A LETTER FROM A PSYCHIATRIST, AND THAT THE SITUATION WOULD BE REVIEWED WITH AN ASSESSOR. THE ASSESSOR WAS ILL AND HAD TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY ON FAMILY MATTERS, THE LETTER WAS AVAILABLE FROM A SHRINK IN TEN DAYS BUT THEY IGNORED IT, AND MY LAWYER WAS ALSO FOUND USELESS IN WRITING AFFADAVITS. WHEN I SPOKE TO THE ASSESSOR I WAS TRULY A MESS AND WHEN HE TOLD ME THE NEW HORRIFYING STORIES ABOUT ME, I JUST SAT AND CRYED.
THE ASSESSOR TOLD ME THE KIDS LOVED US BOTH AND HE JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. IN THE COURT HE TOLD THE JUDGE THE SAME BUT THE JUDGE SAID HE WOULD HAVE TO MAKE THE DECISION SINCE HE WAS THE MOST INFORMED. THE ASSESSOR SAID THEY SHOULD LIVE WITH THE FATHER.
I LOST OUR HOME. I COULDN'T KEEP THE KIDS ROOMS. I WAS CRUSHED. BUT SOMEHOW, I FOUND GOD AND I FOUND NEW STRENGTH.
NOW IT IS TWO YEARS LATER AND I AM STILL FIGHTING IN COURT. WE MIGHT BE AT AN AGREEMENT, BUT WE'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. NOW, THE CLOSE LOVING RELATIONSHIP I HAVE HAD WITH MY CHILDREN HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH HATRED. I HAVE WON SOME BATTLES...LATELY I HAVE HAD A ASSESSMENT COMPLETED THAT IS IN MY FAVOR AND IS PROPOSING 50-50 CUSTODY WITH COUNSELLING FOR EVERYONE. THIS IS A RESULT OF ENDLESS DIARIES, TAPE-RECORDINGS, VIDEO SURVAILANCE, AND WITNESSES. FINALLY I WAS HEARD AND BELIEVED.
THE SETTLEMENT WE ARE WORKING ON. IT IS MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH. I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT UNTIL THE CHILDREN ARE IN COUNSELLING I CANNOT SEE THEM. THAT INCLUDES SPORTS, VOLUNTEERING AT SCHOOL ETC. THIS IS TO PROTECT ME AS WELL AS THE CHILDREN I AM TOLD. IT HAS BEEN SINCE JULY WHEN MY DAUGTHER WAS IN MY ARMS, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER FACE OR HEARD HER VOICE IN A MONTH. I'VE BEEN DECORATING HER BEDROOM. IT HAS BEEN SINCE AUGUST THAT MY SON BRAVELY CAME TO MY HOME WHILE HIS FATHER AND SISTER GLOWERED AT HIM, HE GOT IN TROUBLE AFTERWARDS HE TOLD ME TEARFULLY. THE LAST I SAW HIM WAS IN OCTOBER WHEN HE SLAMMED THE DOOR ON ME.
THE AMAZING THING IS THAT I AM A GREAT MOTHER. I GIVE MY KIDS LOVE AND PLAY WITH THEM. I DON'T HAVE ANY ADDICTIONS OR ANY PYCHIATRIC PROBLEMS. I AM DEPRESSED AND I FEEL VERY ALONE.
EVERY NIGHT I PRAY FOR MY CHILDREN, EVERY MORNING I PRAY FOR THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH THE DAY, AND ON BAD DAYS I PRAY FOR A FEW HOURS AND MAKE MYSELF TAKE MY DOG FOR A LONG WALK. I TALK TO ALL THE TELECARES AND RELIGIOUS NIGHTLINES BECAUSE NIGHT IS THE WORST TIME FOR ME. IT IS REALLY, REALLY HARD. I WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS SO THAT THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT ALONE. (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # Post # 0000006c
FIGHTING BACK IN CANADA
From: STRUGGLING SURVIVOR
Time: 6:49:14 PM
Remote Name: 188.8.131.52
THIS FITS THE PROFILE OF AN OBSESSED ALIENATOR. IT CAN BE MORE ACCURATELY DESCRIBED AS PAMELA STUART MILLS SAID "ABDUCTION OF THE MIND". IT IS ALSO CHILD ABUSE AND I BELIEVE, A CRIME AGAINST CHILDREN AND FAMILIES SUPPORTED BY THE IGNORANCE OF THE PUBLIC AND THE JUDICAL SYSTEM. I WOULD WELCOME ANY HELP I CAN GET.
(Last changed: February 26, 2006 )
Post # Post # 0000006e
Re: FIGHTING BACK IN CANADA
Time: 11:16:48 PM
Remote Name: 184.108.40.206
You are not alone. Please stay strong. I am in a custody battle riddled with domestic violence and abuse and I have not seen my 8 month old son in 3 months. I relocated away from my ex boyfriend because of the abuse he was inflicting on me and my other two sons (4 and 5 years old) that are not his. Please read your bible and get a daily bread book. I will keep in touch with you. I know you are a good mother and you will overcome in the end. STAY STRONG WOMEN ARE THE BACKBONE OF THIS COUNTRY!!!! HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING YOUR SISTER IN KIND, MICHELE (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # 00000071
STILL FIGHTING BACK IN CANADA
From: STRONGER STRUGGLING SURVIVOR
Time: 4:53:42 PM
Remote Name: 220.127.116.11
I WANTED TO SHARE MY SUCCESSES, HOWEVER SMALL IN THE HOPE IT INSPIRES OTHERS TO KEEP FIGHTING.
I HAVE GAINED SOME INCREDIBLE INSIGHTS TO PAS THROUGH SOME GENEROUS SYMPATHETIC INDIVIDUALS. THE GREATEST INSPIRATION TO CONTINUE IS THE IMPACT THIS HAS ON CHILDREN SHORT-LONG TERM.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXPAND BUT I SUGGEST OTHERS TO PICK UP THE AMERICAN JOURNAL- PAS, AND DR. GARDNER'S LATEST BOOK "THERAPUETIC INTERVENTION FOR CHILDREN OF PAS"--I THINK THAT'S IT.
HERE IN CANADA I HAVE FOUND SOME AMAZING INFORMATION BY GLEN CARTRIGHT. THERE IS HELP OUT THERE YOU HAVE TO BE RELENTLESS IN YOUR EFFORTS. SO FAR I HAVE BEEN ENLIGHTENED AND I INTEND TO CONTINUE THIS FIGHT. THANK-YOU MICHELLE, I APPRECIATE ANY SUPPORT I CAN GET RIGHT NOW. I FEEL LIKE DAVID AGAINST GOLIATH...HE SUCCEEDED BY USING HIS BRAIN.I INTEND TO SUCCEED FOR MY CHILDREN, MY SELF, AND FOR OTHERS WHO ARE GOING THROUGH THIS DEVESTATING ORDEAL. THE ANSWER IS TO EDUCATE OTHERS. THANKS. (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # 00000072
Re: STILL FIGHTING BACK IN CANADA
Time: 11:01:00 PM
Remote Name: 18.104.22.168
You go GIRL!!! Try looking at the Free Advice.com website. You can get a lot of information regarding custody issues and legal matters and try custody911 they are great too. I realize now that the PAS is no joke. I know I am suffering and surviving from the same. I am still waiting for a court date in federal court if that doesn't happen I will go to court and battle for custody on Feb 6th, 2001. Everyday is hard. Waiting is hard I read my bible and pray for the lord to grant me patience and increase my faith. I pray that he will be merciful. I won't be able to share my son's first Christmas with him. I will have to pray hard that when I do finally see him again he will remember me it will be 100 days since I have seen him and he is only 9 months old now. Keep fighting in Court and believe David was smart in his battle with Goliath. My son's name is David and I named him that for a reason. Have a blessed holiday and keep in touch. We can support ourselves and others in this ordeal we are experiencing. Your Sister, Michele (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
Post # 000000a0
Help in Canada?
Time: 1:08:09 PM
Remote Name: 22.214.171.124
Does anyone know of any specialists in Ottawa Ontario Canada that deal with parental alienation? Any info apprieciated. (Last changed: February 26, 2006)
END OF THIS TOPIC.
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